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Very often, when we talk about neurodivergent childhood, we do it from a pity view. From a framework that teaches the child about their "lackings" and their deficits. But rarely are we willing to assess the environment where that child lives, or even the educational system itself. This is not just about using neuroaffirming language or showing real inclusion. We need to go further and deeper into the rabbit hole. What is this doing to the child’s self-esteem or the child’s self-concept? What about their ability to connect with themselves and respect their needs? What about teaching them from a framework that promotes genuine well-being and good mental health? Personal development is possible, even when your neurology is different, just like everyone else’s. Somehow yours is more interesting, and everyone is pointing at you. But yes, there is power within you; there is a personality and an identity worth treasuring. And no, you are not broken, you are not a default. You are marvellous! Even though your nervous system gets hurt in this crazy, fast, loud world, you have the amazing power to connect with nature far beyond typical norms. I’m talking about true connection, like looking at a landscape and crying out of wonder. You can feel your heart fill with authentic joy while doing something as simple as soaking your hands in dried lentils! But there is no time for this in the modern world. You are not given the time to allow your mind to get hyper focused, no time to adapt the curriculum, no time to present materials from a monotropic perspective. And you are not certainly given the time to stim, because, hey, it looks too weird. And remember: if you are moving, you are not paying attention. And then is when it truly hits you! You feel like you have to step aside, you feel like you cannot be yourself, like you don’t belong. The message you receive is: The system is not broken. You are. Who can fight this strong statement, when everyone is agreeing: your teachers, your doctors, your aunts and uncles, and now even mum and dad? Because the pressure is too much. It gets to everyone. What can we do to help you believe again? To give you permission to reconnect with yourself? Would you believe us if we tell you that you are amazing? That the power lies within? You just need to trust. And be patient. Please, believe us when we tell you they will get there eventually. In the meantime, try to protect yourself. Because you are worthy of true love.
Inclusion is often spoken about as though it’s a distant goal or a box to be ticked. But for many neurodivergent people, it’s a daily experience of being misunderstood, evaluated, or pressured to fit into systems never designed for them. This piece is a hopeful vision — a dream of a world where we listen deeply, adapt boldly, and celebrate the beautiful ways our brains work differently. At BeeUtiful Minds, we often dream about a world where labels, diagnoses, and assessments are not needed — meaning that society has reached a level of awareness where we allow everyone to be who they want to be. A world where we believe children and don’t patronise them. A world where difference is truly celebrated — not just by flying a flag on a particular day, but where we allow our environments (offices, schools, classrooms, banks, shops, restaurants, doctors’ offices, hospitals, parks, museums, universities, etc.) to be dynamic and flexible. A world where we encourage authenticity and focus on mental health, emotional intelligence, and sensory awareness. Is it too much to ask for? We always looked at the animal kingdom with respect and admiration. All animals are different; they have a purpose and they are connected to their needs and instincts. We would never ask a cow to fly, or a mouse to live in a pond, or a frog to give birth. Then, why are we doing this to human beings? It feels so simple, yet so complicated. Why are we so afraid of change, of difference? What is it that activates our fear when we face dynamism? We don’t have the answer, and we are not doing things better than other people. We are just hoping for the best. We truly think it’s time to embrace change and difference properly — to allow a person to be. To embrace neuroscience and all the amazing research happening around us, telling us we are all wired differently; therefore, we feel differently, we learn differently, and we would like to live our lives befriending our brains, not against them. Please, let us. Please, join us.
A Neurodivergent 9-Year-Old Speaks Children’s voices are valuable. Too often, the experiences of neurodivergent kids are overlooked. Listening to them is essential. Their perspectives can teach us how to build a world where being different is celebrated, not corrected. We recently had the privilege of speaking with a 9-year-old girl who is autistic, gifted, and has ADHD. Here is her story in her own words. Q: How do you feel about being called 'neurodivergent' or 'neurodiverse'? What do those words mean to you? "I actually don’t know, it means that I’m different." Q: If you could describe yourself in three words, what would they be? "Happy. Pretty. Sometimes sad." Q: What are some things you feel really good at or enjoy doing? "Riding horses, playing hide and seek." Q: Can you share a time when you felt proud of something you accomplished? "Going to the dentist, because I'm very scared of it, and when I got elected student council last year." Q: What does your brain do when it's feeling extra busy or distracted? "When I’m busy, I like to be busy, and when I’m distracted, I can get annoyed. For example, when the teacher is talking and a friend is talking to me, I try to tell them not to talk. Sometimes I cannot help but get distracted." Q: Are there things that help you focus or calm down when you're feeling overwhelmed? "Hugs from mam and dad help a lot, petting my dog, and fidget tools sometimes." Q: Are there sounds, lights, or textures that you really like or dislike? "I love the sound of heels when they touch the ground—it’s regulating. I dislike when my dog barks really loud, crowded places, and loud music." Q: How do you like to spend time alone or with others? "With others I like to play; with myself I like to watch a movie and read." Q: What do you like most about school? Is there anything that makes school tricky for you? "Big break! Listening to the teacher can be tricky." Q: How do you learn best? Are there things that help you understand or remember things? "In fun ways, with movement as well. Writing stuff down helps me remember." Q: How do you like to make friends? "So-so." Q: What makes you feel happy when you're with other kids? "Playing." Q: What makes you feel upset when you're with other kids? "When in a large group, it is difficult for me to know when is my turn to talk. Sometimes I need to speak loudly and my throat hurts later." Q: Is there something you wish people knew about you? "I don’t know." Q: How can adults help you feel understood and supported? "I feel supported once they get to really know me." Her words remind us that identity is personal and evolving. Being neurodivergent isn’t something that defines her limitations—it’s just one part of who she is. She can see herself as happy and capable, and also acknowledge her moments of sadness. These answers highlight her unique strengths and accomplishments. Moments that might seem small to adults—like visiting the dentist—are big achievements to her, reflecting resilience, courage, and independence. Celebrating these victories helps children develop confidence and pride in their abilities, rather than focusing only on their challenges. Hearing her describe her ADHD shows both the challenges and the strategies she uses to navigate them, highlighting the importance of support, understanding, and practical tools that allow her to manage her busy mind in ways that feel safe and empowering. Her sensory experiences shape how she engages with the world, reminding us that neurodivergent children experience the environment differently and that respecting those differences is key to supporting their wellbeing. Her ability to enjoy both social play and solitary activities shows the richness and variety of her interests. Her insights on learning underscore the need for flexibility and creativity in education, while her social experiences reveal both the joys and complications of interaction. Understanding and respecting these differences is crucial to helping children feel included without forcing them to conform. Finally, her reflections on support remind us that it’s not about fixing or changing her—it’s about listening, observing, and building understanding. Children feel most empowered when they are seen, accepted, and given space to be themselves. Reminder for All of Us These insights are more than just an interview. They are a call to action. Neurodivergent children are not broken. They are enough. They are full of creativity, love, and intelligence. Perhaps we should take Oscar Wilde’s words to heart: "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." By listening, affirming, and valuing neurodivergent voices, we can help children grow up feeling loved, understood, and empowered to be themselves. And that, in turn, can prevent the pain and struggles that come from feeling like you must conform to a world that doesn’t see you. Let’s start listening. Let’s start learning. Let’s start celebrating the unique, brilliant minds of our children.
Beginning the journey towards a diagnosis—whether for yourself or your child—can feel both hopeful and overwhelming. Questions, doubts, and fears often come up along the way: Where do I start? Will I be understood? What will this mean for our future? This is why having the right support at every stage is so important. Why Support Matters Seeking a diagnosis is not just about a label, it’s about understanding. Knowledge empowers us to make sense of what is happening in our lives, to recognise our strengths, and to find the tools we need to thrive. Parents, carers, and individuals deserve the opportunity to learn, to ask questions, and to feel held during this process. Support offers reassurance, guidance, and a safe space to explore what a diagnosis means. It helps us move away from fear and towards clarity, compassion, and confidence. Questions We Need to Ask When looking for an assessment, it’s important to consider not just where it happens, but how. Will it be respectful and affirming? Will it lead us towards self-understanding and self-acceptance, rather than pressure to “fit in”? Is the focus on changing behaviours to appear more “typical”, or on recognising needs and creating kinder ways to live and learn? Will it help us understand how sensory processing and other differences shape how we experience the world? These questions matter because the quality of the assessment shapes the journey that follows. After a Diagnosis Receiving a diagnosis can bring relief, but it can also leave families feeling lost. Too often, people are handed a label with little explanation, and sometimes even with damaging messages, such as the idea that their child is “broken” or needs to be “fixed”. The pressure to seek a “miracle therapy” can feel overwhelming, especially when long waiting lists stand in the way. But what about mental health? What about self-esteem? What about helping children feel proud of who they are? These are just as important as any therapy. A Different Way Forward We believe there are no magic wands, but there are opportunities for change. Not the kind of change that asks children to be less autistic, less ADHD, or less themselves, but a change in mindset: From compliance to connection. From trying to “fix” to learning how to support. From fear to trust in our parenting and in the love we have for our children. We are here to walk alongside you. Many of us have been where you are now, or are still walking this road ourselves. You don’t have to face it alone. With the right support, knowledge, and community, it’s possible to create a life that honours differences, celebrates strengths, and nurtures wellbeing. Because there are many ways to live a good life—and all of them begin with understanding and connection.
Autism is often misunderstood, leading to widespread myths that shape social attitudes, policies, and personal expectations. Here, we debunk five common misconceptions using insights from recent research and the neurodiversity paradigm. Myth 1: Autism is a Mental Health Condition Many people assume that autism is a mental health disorder, similar to depression or anxiety. While autism is formally classified in psychiatric manuals (DSM‑5, ICD‑11) as a neurodevelopmental condition, the neurodiversity paradigm reframes it as a natural neurological difference rather than a pathology (Pellicano & den Houting, 2024; Bottini et al., 2023). Neurological Difference, Not Disorder: Autism represents a variation in brain development and cognition, rather than a dysfunction to be “fixed.” Focus on Acceptance: Neurodiversity advocates emphasise supporting autistic individuals by adapting environments and reducing societal barriers, rather than trying to cure or remediate them. Language Matters: Shifting from terms like “disorder” and “deficit” to “difference,” “challenges,” and “supports” highlights the move towards acceptance and respect for autistic identities. In short, autism is not inherently a mental health problem—it is a difference in how the brain develops and experiences the world. Myth 2: Autistic Individuals Lack Empathy The idea that autistic people lack empathy is one of the most persistent myths. Research suggests the reality is far more nuanced. Emotional vs. Cognitive Empathy: Autistic individuals often have intact or even heightened emotional empathy (EE)—the ability to feel what others feel. Challenges may appear in cognitive empathy (CE), which involves understanding others’ perspectives (Bollen, 2023; Shalev et al., 2022). Empathic Disequilibrium: Many autistic people experience EE-dominance, meaning their emotional responses can be stronger than their cognitive understanding. This can sometimes be overwhelming, giving the false impression of a “lack of empathy” (Shalev et al., 2022). The Double Empathy Problem: Social miscommunication is reciprocal. Non-autistic people often misunderstand autistic social cues just as much as the reverse. Difficulties in social interaction are about mismatched perspectives, not an absence of empathy (Milton, 2012). Empathy in autism is complex and context-dependent. Autistic people feel deeply and respond emotionally, even if they interpret social signals differently from neurotypical expectations. Myth 3: Autism is a Learning Disability Autism itself is not a learning disability. While some autistic individuals may have learning challenges, many have average or above-average intellectual abilities. Learning profiles in autism are diverse. Some may excel in certain areas while struggling in others, but this is not evidence of an inherent “disability” in learning. Educational and social barriers often create challenges, rather than autism inherently limiting intellectual potential (Pellicano & den Houting, 2024). Myth 4: Autistic Individuals Have Special Abilities While some autistic people may have exceptional skills (sometimes referred to as “savant abilities”), this is the exception, not the rule. The neurodiversity paradigm emphasises everyday strengths and differences, rather than assuming extraordinary talent (Bottini et al., 2023). Autistic individuals are unique, with diverse abilities, interests, and perspectives—but expecting extraordinary skills in every autistic person is misleading and unfair. Myth 5: Autism Can Be “Fixed” or “Cured” Autism is not an illness to be cured. Attempts to normalise autistic behaviour, especially interventions aiming to make autistic children “indistinguishable” from peers, can be harmful. Neurodiversity supports acceptance and accommodation, not conformity (Pellicano & den Houting, 2024). Supports should focus on reducing environmental barriers, promoting autonomy, and fostering self-determination, rather than eliminating autistic traits. Conclusion Autism is a natural variation in human neurology, not a mental illness or deficit. Misconceptions about empathy, learning, and abilities stem from outdated medical models and societal misunderstandings. By embracing the neurodiversity paradigm, we can replace myths with respect, acceptance, and a recognition of the rich diversity autistic individuals bring to the world. References Bollen, C. (2023). A reflective guide on the meaning of empathy in autism research. Methods in Psychology, 8, 100109. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.metip.2022.100109 Bottini, S. B., Morton, H. E., Buchanan, K. A., & Gould, K. (2023). Moving from disorder to difference: A systematic review of recent language use in autism research. Journal of Autism Studies, 6(2). Milton, D. E. M. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: The ‘double empathy problem.’ Disability & Society, 27(6), 883–887. https://doi.org/10.1080/09687599.2012.710008 Pellicano, E., & den Houting, J. (2024). Annual research review: Shifting from ‘normal science’ to neurodiversity in autism science. Autism in Adulthood, 6(2). https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2023.0030 Shalev, I., Warrier, V., Greenberg, D. M., Smith, P., Allison, C., Baron‑Cohen, S., Eran, A., & Uzefovsky, F. (2022). Reexamining empathy in autism: Empathic disequilibrium as a novel predictor of autism diagnosis and autistic traits. Autism Research, 15(10), 1917–1928. https://doi.org/10.1002/aur.2794
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Very often, when we talk about neurodivergent childhood, we do it from a pity view. From a framework that teaches the child about their "lackings" and their deficits. But rarely are we willing to assess the environment where that child lives, or even the educational system itself. This is not just about using neuroaffirming language or showing real inclusion. We need to go further and deeper into the rabbit hole. What is this doing to the child’s self-esteem or the child’s self-concept? What about their ability to connect with themselves and respect their needs? What about teaching them from a framework that promotes genuine well-being and good mental health? Personal development is possible, even when your neurology is different, just like everyone else’s. Somehow yours is more interesting, and everyone is pointing at you. But yes, there is power within you; there is a personality and an identity worth treasuring. And no, you are not broken, you are not a default. You are marvellous! Even though your nervous system gets hurt in this crazy, fast, loud world, you have the amazing power to connect with nature far beyond typical norms. I’m talking about true connection, like looking at a landscape and crying out of wonder. You can feel your heart fill with authentic joy while doing something as simple as soaking your hands in dried lentils! But there is no time for this in the modern world. You are not given the time to allow your mind to get hyper focused, no time to adapt the curriculum, no time to present materials from a monotropic perspective. And you are not certainly given the time to stim, because, hey, it looks too weird. And remember: if you are moving, you are not paying attention. And then is when it truly hits you! You feel like you have to step aside, you feel like you cannot be yourself, like you don’t belong. The message you receive is: The system is not broken. You are. Who can fight this strong statement, when everyone is agreeing: your teachers, your doctors, your aunts and uncles, and now even mum and dad? Because the pressure is too much. It gets to everyone. What can we do to help you believe again? To give you permission to reconnect with yourself? Would you believe us if we tell you that you are amazing? That the power lies within? You just need to trust. And be patient. Please, believe us when we tell you they will get there eventually. In the meantime, try to protect yourself. Because you are worthy of true love.
Inclusion is often spoken about as though it’s a distant goal or a box to be ticked. But for many neurodivergent people, it’s a daily experience of being misunderstood, evaluated, or pressured to fit into systems never designed for them. This piece is a hopeful vision — a dream of a world where we listen deeply, adapt boldly, and celebrate the beautiful ways our brains work differently. At BeeUtiful Minds, we often dream about a world where labels, diagnoses, and assessments are not needed — meaning that society has reached a level of awareness where we allow everyone to be who they want to be. A world where we believe children and don’t patronise them. A world where difference is truly celebrated — not just by flying a flag on a particular day, but where we allow our environments (offices, schools, classrooms, banks, shops, restaurants, doctors’ offices, hospitals, parks, museums, universities, etc.) to be dynamic and flexible. A world where we encourage authenticity and focus on mental health, emotional intelligence, and sensory awareness. Is it too much to ask for? We always looked at the animal kingdom with respect and admiration. All animals are different; they have a purpose and they are connected to their needs and instincts. We would never ask a cow to fly, or a mouse to live in a pond, or a frog to give birth. Then, why are we doing this to human beings? It feels so simple, yet so complicated. Why are we so afraid of change, of difference? What is it that activates our fear when we face dynamism? We don’t have the answer, and we are not doing things better than other people. We are just hoping for the best. We truly think it’s time to embrace change and difference properly — to allow a person to be. To embrace neuroscience and all the amazing research happening around us, telling us we are all wired differently; therefore, we feel differently, we learn differently, and we would like to live our lives befriending our brains, not against them. Please, let us. Please, join us.
A Neurodivergent 9-Year-Old Speaks Children’s voices are valuable. Too often, the experiences of neurodivergent kids are overlooked. Listening to them is essential. Their perspectives can teach us how to build a world where being different is celebrated, not corrected. We recently had the privilege of speaking with a 9-year-old girl who is autistic, gifted, and has ADHD. Here is her story in her own words. Q: How do you feel about being called 'neurodivergent' or 'neurodiverse'? What do those words mean to you? "I actually don’t know, it means that I’m different." Q: If you could describe yourself in three words, what would they be? "Happy. Pretty. Sometimes sad." Q: What are some things you feel really good at or enjoy doing? "Riding horses, playing hide and seek." Q: Can you share a time when you felt proud of something you accomplished? "Going to the dentist, because I'm very scared of it, and when I got elected student council last year." Q: What does your brain do when it's feeling extra busy or distracted? "When I’m busy, I like to be busy, and when I’m distracted, I can get annoyed. For example, when the teacher is talking and a friend is talking to me, I try to tell them not to talk. Sometimes I cannot help but get distracted." Q: Are there things that help you focus or calm down when you're feeling overwhelmed? "Hugs from mam and dad help a lot, petting my dog, and fidget tools sometimes." Q: Are there sounds, lights, or textures that you really like or dislike? "I love the sound of heels when they touch the ground—it’s regulating. I dislike when my dog barks really loud, crowded places, and loud music." Q: How do you like to spend time alone or with others? "With others I like to play; with myself I like to watch a movie and read." Q: What do you like most about school? Is there anything that makes school tricky for you? "Big break! Listening to the teacher can be tricky." Q: How do you learn best? Are there things that help you understand or remember things? "In fun ways, with movement as well. Writing stuff down helps me remember." Q: How do you like to make friends? "So-so." Q: What makes you feel happy when you're with other kids? "Playing." Q: What makes you feel upset when you're with other kids? "When in a large group, it is difficult for me to know when is my turn to talk. Sometimes I need to speak loudly and my throat hurts later." Q: Is there something you wish people knew about you? "I don’t know." Q: How can adults help you feel understood and supported? "I feel supported once they get to really know me." Her words remind us that identity is personal and evolving. Being neurodivergent isn’t something that defines her limitations—it’s just one part of who she is. She can see herself as happy and capable, and also acknowledge her moments of sadness. These answers highlight her unique strengths and accomplishments. Moments that might seem small to adults—like visiting the dentist—are big achievements to her, reflecting resilience, courage, and independence. Celebrating these victories helps children develop confidence and pride in their abilities, rather than focusing only on their challenges. Hearing her describe her ADHD shows both the challenges and the strategies she uses to navigate them, highlighting the importance of support, understanding, and practical tools that allow her to manage her busy mind in ways that feel safe and empowering. Her sensory experiences shape how she engages with the world, reminding us that neurodivergent children experience the environment differently and that respecting those differences is key to supporting their wellbeing. Her ability to enjoy both social play and solitary activities shows the richness and variety of her interests. Her insights on learning underscore the need for flexibility and creativity in education, while her social experiences reveal both the joys and complications of interaction. Understanding and respecting these differences is crucial to helping children feel included without forcing them to conform. Finally, her reflections on support remind us that it’s not about fixing or changing her—it’s about listening, observing, and building understanding. Children feel most empowered when they are seen, accepted, and given space to be themselves. Reminder for All of Us These insights are more than just an interview. They are a call to action. Neurodivergent children are not broken. They are enough. They are full of creativity, love, and intelligence. Perhaps we should take Oscar Wilde’s words to heart: "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." By listening, affirming, and valuing neurodivergent voices, we can help children grow up feeling loved, understood, and empowered to be themselves. And that, in turn, can prevent the pain and struggles that come from feeling like you must conform to a world that doesn’t see you. Let’s start listening. Let’s start learning. Let’s start celebrating the unique, brilliant minds of our children.